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The flagship spaghetti is all about dense noodles that could sink a canoe. And the mizithra comes with the promise of writing chops—the menu says Homer noshed on the brown butter and cheese pasta while busting out the Iliad—yet the pasta proffers no such inspiration for this writer. Our waitress is unmemorable, and that’s a good thing.The busboy, however, has a cold—coughing into his shoulder, using his fingers to scrape scum from a fork. My girlfriend points out that the couple in the booth next to us are seated side by side.Saturday night in Rancho Cordova—and maybe someone will toss a loaf?

There are three hostesses, and I believe it, because a trio seems insufficient to handle the crowd.

“If the décor of a whorehouse turns you on,” she says.

A quick food-critic rundown of the night: an appetizer, Twinkie-sized slabs of garlicky cheese bread surrounding a lukewarm dipping bowl of marinara, scares.

My girlfriend hears this story and agrees to return to the scene of the crime.

It will be an ironic date night at Spag, as they call it.

Servers sing “Happy Birthday” for a fourth time as we leave. ) is a relief from the wallet-busting, first-world problem of traditional date nights.


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